12 Ways to Practice Self-Care for Grief

After the death of a loved one, grief can be overwhelming, gut-wrenching and draining. The pain we experience can literally bring us to our knees. At other times, grief may numb our emotions and our senses.

No matter what your grieving process may be, it is important during these tender times to take the best care of yourself. Practicing self-care is a vital part of the healing process for your mind, body and spirit. Here are a few daily practices that may offer you comfort during your grief journey. Take the time to discover what self-care routines work best for you.

1. Get plenty of sleep.
Sleep is the best way to give your body needed rest and recuperation. If you find yourself dragging during the day, take a nap. Try going to bed and getting up at the same time every day. Limit your intake of caffeine, especially during the afternoon and evening, and avoid screen time before sleeping.

2. Move your body.
Exercise can release stress, emotions and pain. Go for a walk or a run, do yoga, bike, or do some gardening. Whatever form of exercise you enjoy, it will benefit your body, mind, and spirit.

3. Nourish your body with a healthy diet.
Eating healthy food and drinking sufficient water will help heal your body and mind. If facing a grocery store appears too taxing, order delivery from your favorite store or ask a friend to pick up what you need.

4. Get out into nature.
Get outside and take a mindful walk in a forest, in a park, near the ocean, or in your neighborhood. Stop and look at the flowers and trees you see. What colors and scents surround you? Do you hear birds calling? Does a butterfly cross your path? Stop and take three deep breaths: inhale to a count of three; exhale to a count of three. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Feel?

5. Express yourself.
Find a creative channel to release your emotions. For you, this may be journaling, writing poetry, drawing, coloring, singing, scrapbooking, or dancing. Consider writing a letter to your loved one. Is there something you wish you had shared with them that you didn’t or couldn’t?

6. Connect with others.
Try to balance your time alone with being with friends and family. Ask a friend you know will listen to spend time with you. Talk about how you are feeling. It’s okay to let people know how much contact you are comfortable with.

7. Be gentle with yourself.
Give yourself permission to do what will nurture you. Take a hot shower or a bubble bath. Schedule a massage. Try a meditation app, practice deep breathing or Yoga Nidra. Know it’s okay to watch a funny movie and laugh. Talk kindly to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve as you need and in a way that works for you. No two people do it the same way.

8. Spend time with your pet.
Take your pet for a walk to relieve stress. Give your dog belly rubs. Play with your cat. Pets can provide grounding, reassurance and comfort as you experience deep emotions. By having your pet by your side, you won’t feel as alone.

9. Practice personal hygiene.
Follow the simple routines every day that make you feel refreshed. Shower or bathe, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on clean clothes.

10. Listen to your body.
If you’re exhausted, sleep. If you’re hungry, eat. If you are feeling alone, call a trusted friend. If you feel the need to cry, cry. Do whatever you need to be kind to yourself at this time. Lower your expectations of yourself. You don’t need to accomplish everything on your “to do” list.

11. Don’t set a grief timeline.
It is important to know that grief is not linear. It will come and go in waves and there is no way to know how long it will last. And that is perfectly okay. Everyone is different and each loss is different. The kindest thing you can do for yourself is to take all the time you need.

12. Ask for help if you need it.
If you need grief support, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Bereavement support services are available through local hospitals, hospices, churches, temples, senior service centers, and by accessing a professional grief counselor. When in doubt, contact your doctor for a referral.